With the week of B's birth approaching (28w1d) I can't help but feel scared Riley will come early too.
I have had this day, of B's birth, in my mind since I got pregnant. I knew this day would be tough and I really wanted her to stay in longer, even a day.
There are no signs that she is coming which is a relief but being high risk comes with daily doubt. Will it be today? Will this week be the week we get the rug pulled out?
She has stayed put long enough to have viability and statistics on her side. Her chances of survival are reaching the 90-95% marks but we know all too well that complications can throw us loops. B's case is rare for a 28 weeker and uncommon but we speak 'special needs' fluently over here. And even a term baby can have complications which makes this game of pregnancy all too cruel and unpridictable.
So what are we looking at as far as pregnancy complications? I get asked this a lot. Since B was born 6 hours after I arrived at the hospital we had little warning and no time to prepare.
This time around we have some reassurance. My cerclage is a god send this time around. And the shots!
We are still hoping to have a full term healthy little girl but we are also aware of the risk of another preemie. And thankfully it would likely not be as sudden.
What we are looking for as signs of trouble....
Blood: this means my cerclage is tearing. Or my cervix is trying to open against the stitch. I wont feel it but I will see blood. This would put me in the hospital likely on bed rest but chances are they can control whatever is going on and keep her in longer.
Contractions: More than four in an hour and I go to the hospital. They will try and stop labor and hopefully my cerclage would hold and if successful she would stay put.
Pressure: Another sign the stitch is wanting to give way.
So far no signs of any of these. It is entirely possible that I carry her to term but given my history and my really short cervix I have an 80% chance of having her before 32 weeks. Even though it's still early that's 4 extra weeks than B had and that's a small victory for my body.
Each week we get good news from the Dr and each week we get closer to 37 is a huge victory for us.
Keep praying for Riley and more time in the oven...we aren't ready to meet you yet.
My goal from the day I found out I was pregnant was Aug 1 (34w). Anything after would be a gift!
And I will laugh when I'm 40 weeks, huge, hot, and miserable....LOL