Who do you look like?

Derek and I have been trying to figure out who Brayden looks like and we finally decided....both of us.
We have baby pictures of ourselves and we think it's a perfect mix of the two of us.

We had been trying to figure out where Braydens chins came from, yes multiple chins!! I about died laughing when I saw D's baby pic, same chin!!! 

D as a baby.

Brayden. Same exact chin and mouth!!

Brayden. More of this Elmer Fudd chin that we think is adorable!

**************

Me (1 month old)

Brayden. Same eyes and nose.

Brayden video!

I wanted to post a video of B live in action. And because I finally figured out how to post video to blogger. He was wide awake yesterday just exploring his little incubator.

Today B will meet with the hospitals speech therapist. She will work with him and see if he's ready to try bottle feedings. I know I thought it was weird that a speech therapist helps them with eating...?? Hopefully he is ready to try, he does love sucking on his paci so maybe?? They usually try once a day with the bottles at first to get them used to it. Most babies hate it at first but they eventually get the hang of it.

First big boy bath

Brayden got his first bath yesterday in the 'big boy tub' aka the pink bucket the hospital uses.

He has been getting sponge baths for the last 4 weeks so the nurse and I decided it was time to try the real bath.

At first he kind of liked it, then he wasn't so sure, and then he hated it!! Full on flailing and crying. Maybe next time will fair better!

The bath was pretty easy to do, our nurse Chris held his neck, D held his left arm up (his IV can't get wet), and I bathed him. After wards he was happy and clean with fuzzy hair!! It was really cute.

His weight last night was 4lbs!!! Still very small but to us it seems huge!

1 month old!!

My little man is 1 month old today! I can't believe it!

He has changed so much in the last month. My tiny wrinkly old man is now an almost 4lb chubby old man!

The last month has been grueling with so many up and downs. B was so sick in the beginning and he has proved what a fighter he is and now is going up each day.

Weight-Length:
Born 2lb 14oz & 15.75"
Lowest 2lb 7oz
Current 3lb 14oz & 16.5"

4 days old! So small and bony.

1 month old. Much chunkier and always catching flies with that mouth!

Update:

B did not need any blood. The next day his red blood cells were up. He is still having the Bradycardias (heart rate drops) but are less. They think it's due to reflux from his feedings and just being a preemie.

Yesterday (9-26) he wore his first outfit!! It was preemie size and it was huge!!! But I thought it was fitting that his first digs were from Nordstrom :-) Moms fave store!

Derek went back to work today, part time, so I am headed to the hospital for some mom-son time. We miss dad already!!!

Happy Birthday Mom

My beautiful mom is the big 5-0 today!!! Happy Birthday Mom (Mema)!

Brayden Update: 4w 2d

Brayden had a follow up spinal tap on Friday (9-24) to check on the meningitis. His white blood cell count was still higher than they would like so they decided to continue the antibiotic for a few more days and possibly do another spinal tap this week.

Yesterday they took his nose cannula (oxygen tube) out because he was doing so good on his low settings. Well as part of the NICU dance goes, 12 hours later it went back in because his respiratory rate was high. We got to see him without it and see his cute nose. It's typical for preemies to have it off and on a few times before it stays off for good, same with switching to an open crib, back and forth....they just like to keep everyone on there toes I guess!!

He has been having more Bradycardias (heart rate drops) than he has been in the last week. They tested his red blood cells and they were low so they may give him blood today. It could also be from head position and not swallowing spit, it could also mean he needs a higher dose of caffeine. We'll just have to wait and see. I am praying it doesn't mean he is getting sick, they don't think it is because he is doing so well with feedings/ temperature/ weight ect.

He now weighs 3lb 12oz!! 

Kangaroo time with mom.

My little sweetheart!

I love my paci!

His cool incubator blanket from my friend Marcy.

Brayden Update: 3w 6d

More steps forward!! We'll take it! He continues to improve and grow.

The nurses keep referring to him as 'big' which is crazy to me but he has grown a lot in the last 4 weeks.

He had a CT scan yesterday (9-22) and the results came back perfect! The bleeds are not getting worse, they are slowly healing. The thing we are watching for is Hydrocephalus, water on the brain. A side effects of the bleeds. So far nothing to be alarmed of but there is a chance it could form. This would requiring draining. Fingers crossed we don't have to tackle that hurdle!

His last day of antibiotic will be tomorrow!! He is going to be on his Phenobarbital (seizure med) for a while, at least until he goes home. This is because when he did have seizures they were pretty bad so they want to prevent anything from happening again even though he shows no signs of them.

He is currently getting 9cc (teaspoon) of milk every 3 hours and they will go up 1cc every 9 hours until he reaches 30cc (1oz) at each feeding. Then he will be caught up on feedings for his size and age.

He weighs 3lb 8.5oz and continues to go up each day. He looks so much bigger to me.

I'm awake!! I love my preemie sized paci!

Little Man-BIG personality

B is having another good day!!

D and I have been having the best week with him doing so well. We are starting to (gasp) enjoy life in the NICU. We chat and joke with the nurses, we love sitting with B, and we are starting to establish somewhat of a routine now. The past (almost) month has gone by fast. Hopefully that speed continues and in no time we will be living at home again and back to a somewhat normal life with our little man.

So our tiny little man has such a big personality we have learned. We have had the privileged the last month to get to know him, watch him grow, and see his personality come out.

He is a favorite of the nurses...so they tell us. They always tell us how handsome he is and they joke with us about his 'attitude'. I guess he has a bit of a temper...from dad of course...LOL. He loves to give them 'stink eye' when they are doing something he doesn't like.

Last night we finally caught some of his cute faces on our phone. When we do Kangaroo Care he makes the cutest faces and sounds. And he is starting to look chubbier!!!

Happy and smiling.
I know babies don't smile until they are older but I swear he smiles when he's laying with me!

Braydens 'O' face for all the Office Space fans.

“Miracles happen to those who believe in them.”

-Bernard Berenson

Brayden Update: 3w 4d

B is having another good day.

He is up to 6cc of milk every 3 hours. He is doing well with the food and is having smalls poops!!

He is now only requiring blood work twice a week. He is is down to 2L of flow on his nasal cannula and is still on room air (21% oxygen). He has some great lungs!!

They decided to try and see if he can start regulating his own temperature, usually babies can do it at 34 weeks (he is 31.5). They turn off the heat in his incubator and put clothes/blankets on him. So far he is doing really well, he actually got hot yesterday and had to take his hat off. He is definitely a little hot box (like dad). Maybe that's why I was ALWAYS hot when I was pregnant and now I am back to being cold ALL the time. If all goes well with his temperature and no heat on his next step will be moving into an open crib!!!

He isn't tolerating a lot of touch lately, side effects of the pain meds. He does well with D and I and settles down after the nurses handle him but we are trying not to over stimulate him and let him rest. When I take him out for K Care he fusses for about 1 minute then is totally out!! I love that he gets such good sleep during it.

We have been doing K Care every evening for 2+ hours and we are really loving that family time together. We like to think that our K Care time and our time with him at the hospital are really helping him make the big steps forward. I know studies have been done that show how the parents presence actually improves well being in preemies. It makes us feel so good as parents!

He loves being on his tummy!

I is a burrito! Trying out clothes and blankets.

Brayden Update: 3w 2d

I can (happily) say B is doing good!!!

He is off his Fentanyl (pain meds) and is up to 3cc of milk every 3 hours. They want to try and keep upping it every day/ every other day. So far he is tolerating the milk expect the one time he threw up when I was sitting with him. I'm glad I got to see his first time but I was sad, I was able to clean him up and he was content again!

We have been doing Kangaroo Care every night the past few days for least 2 hours. He really seems to enjoy it and is able to get some good sleep! I finished my book on K Care and I am so impressed with the benefits of it, even doing it after we have him home. We will definitely be continuing it for a while.

B has a CT scan scheduled for Wednesday. They want to check his brain for puss pockets (infection pockets) from the meningitis and the bleed. They can't see any on an ultra sound so they are either really small or there are none. Treatment would be extra time on the antibiotic.

His weight is 3lb 6.5 oz, some is fluid still but he is slowly gaining :-)

Yesterday D and I were able to get home for the day. We bought a deep freezer, a small one, 5 cubic feet. I need the extra storage for milk and it will last 6 months in a deep freezer! I got to spend time with (my oldest friend) Amy and her son Caleb for a few hours. Her and her mom made me a beautiful bracelet with B's name and his birth stone in crystals. Thank you again!

Today we have brunch planned with D's family and then my parents are heading down tonight. My mom is very excited to sit with me tonight during our K Care!

Enjoy your Sunday! I am loving the Fall weather, even though my Yankee (Fall) candles are still waiting for me at home to be lit I am still finding ways to enjoy Fall. PS I think if I eat another Starbcks pumpkin muffin I will start looking like a muffin....LOL. Good thing I'm burning the extra 500 calories from pumping, my stomach went down so fast, I'll post a postpartum pic soon.

K Care with mom. Our cute little hat we bought off a preemie sight. He really is our little miracle!

Starting to like my (mini) pacifier!

Is that a freezer in your dining room??? Yes it is! I guess we have to make do with little space because we need the freezer!

Brayden Update: 3 weeks old

When I think about it this 3 weeks has gone by really fast and at the same time it seems like Brayden has been in my life forever. Did life really exists before him? It's been a tough 3 weeks but we have endured and survived and have seen our little B make huge changes. We try and take things one day at a time but we are dreaming of the day we get to carry him out of the hospital and take him home!

Brayden is doing really good today. He is down to 21% oxygen (same amount that we breath) and he is almost off the Fentanyl (pain meds).

His biggest challenge today will be pooping! He started getting breast milk (1cc every 3 hours) two days ago and hasn't passed anything yet. His system was shut down for so long when he was sick and wasn't getting any feedings so it just needs to kick start again. His belly is a little bloated so hopefully little man can get some relief today!!

D got to give him a sponge bath last night, change his diaper, and lotion him up. It was cool to watch!

He had his first session with the occupational therapist. They work with the babies 3-4 times a week to help them relax and be proactive to help out in any delays that may come up. They will also visit us at home and have hospital appointments after he is discharged to again be pro-active with any delays. The therapist was awesome! She did a baby massage and he loved it, he was so relaxed and I was sleepy just watching her with him. I call her the preemie whisperer. I wish she could visit him every day!

Kangaroo Care with mom! Mouth WIDE open like always!

Perfect little toes with his blood oxygen cuff.

Holding moms hand.

This is what we see everyday when we get off the elevator and turn the corner. It's a very ominous door and security is super tight. This b&w pic captures it perfectly I think.

Brayden Update: 2 weeks 5 days (baby shower info)

B is doing good today...again!!

They discontinued one of his seizure meds and are slowly taking him of the Fentanyl (pain med). He was having slight withdrawal symptoms this morning from the pain meds, normal for the babies. He was just a little twitchy.

We got the results from the Echo (heart scan). His PDA (heart duct) has closed!! This is awesome news. The Dr's were even a little surprised because sometimes infection can make an open duct worse. There is a very small chance it can open again but pretty unlikely. We are so happy and so proud of B.

He is doing very good off the ventilator. Breathing just fine on his own!

Other than that there is little change, luckily!! We like him calm and stable! We are heading back this afternoon to sit with little man and do some Kangaroo Care! Holding him is the best part of my day!

To our family and friends......

Some have asked about the baby shower(s). Since the invites got mailed literally right before B was born and with all the goings on with B there was question about them...??

They are still going to be held as planned!! Instead of celebrating baby-to-be we get to celebrate our beautiful boy and the new mom and new dad (Derek will come at the end to assist in opening gifts). Can't wait to see everyone!

Brayden Update: 2 weeks 4 days

We went to see B this morning and got to do some Kanagroo Care and then as soon as we were done his ventilator came out!!! Hopefully for good! We got to see his face with no tubes or tape for the first time since he was born. He was a little red and agitated from taking the old tape off but he looked so cute!

Yesterday he had a kidney ultra sound and they look great! He had another Echo on his heart to see if his PDA (open heart duct) was still open. They can't hear it so it's either gone or small they suspect. We should have results back soon!! If it's small they may only need to monitor and if it's larger than they think he may need the surgery to close it after all his antibiotics are done in a few weeks.

He only has 1 IV line in. He had 5 when he was sick.

So today is a 4 steps forward day. I know the NICU dance (2 steps forward, 1 step back) is just beginning now that he is getting healthier. I am scared because I know there will be more steps back, I just hope they are small little baby steps!

Brayden Update: 2 weeks 3 days

It's a new week and with it lots of hope!! Brayden is doing so good!!

His lab cultures for all the infection are still negative. He will continue antibiotics for another 2 weeks to make sure it's gone and doesn't come back.

His artery IV line came out because he is down to once a day blood draws for labs. They now just do a heel prick.

He is still off his blood pressure meds. He will have a drug screening today to see if they can bring down his dosage of his anti seizure meds. They want to slowly ween down his Fentynal (sedative used for the discomfort of the breathing tube) and ween down the amount the ventilator is breathing for him. Once he is waking up more he will be able to breath on his own and the machine wont be needed anymore. His lungs are perfectly fine but with how much he has been sedated the machine is necessary because he would essentially forget to breath.

Yesterday I got to do Kangaroo Care for the first time in 9 days!! It was amazing!! I got to hold him for 1.5 hours and it was much needed! They anticipate we can do it once a day. It's a big production with moving all the tubes ect but it's so worth it.

Some have asked about Knagaroo Care....
It's skin to skin contact with mom and baby or dad and baby. My body heats up if baby gets cold and cools down if he gets too hot. Our bodies are pretty amazing huh? The contact has been proven to help babies thrive way beyond what the medical staff can provide. It also promotes much needed bonding that preemies and preemie moms can't really get like with term newborns.

They found out about this in poor countries where the hospitals couldn't afford incubators for the preemies. They had the moms hold them, skin to skin, for hours and hours to keep them warm. They noticed that the babies doing the Kangaroo were thriving way beyond the babies just in the incubators. It was then that tons of tons of research was done and now it's a widely practiced method in NICU's and with term newborns.

Here is a great story a reader sent me about K Care if you are interested:

http://www.today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38988444/ns/18424824?ref=nf

First time on my tummy (9-12-10)

Here is B's fundraiser info again too:

A blogger, Tahnie, reached out to me and wanted to do a fundraiser through her online jewelry store, Stella and Dot, for Brayden.

She will donate 30% of all purchases made for Brayden until Sept 21st.

If you would like to help out please follow these instructions:

Go to the Stella & Dot website here, http://stelladot.com/tahnie.

Next, in the upper right hand corner, underneath StyleWatch, there is a link that says 'Can't make it to the trunk show? Find your hostess' click on that. You will then put in Baby Brayden for the hostess information. Baby for the first name and Brayden for the last, click search. It will say the party starts on September 6.

Go ahead and click on Baby Brayden, click continue and shop away!

Brayden Update: 2 weeks 1 day

I guess you know you have been living in a hospital (basically) when it takes you half the day to realize it's 9/11??

B is doing well today. No real changes all week which is actually really good news!!

They did another head ultra sound yesterday to check the bleeding and it was good news!! The bleeds have not gotten worse and the blood is starting to absorb. The way a brain bleed works is it's basically a one time bleed that creates a bruise, like you would get on your arm, it takes a while for the bruise to go away, same with the bleed. They will continue to do weekly/ every 2 week ultra sounds to make sure it's getting better. We won't know if the bleed will have any long term affects for a year or so.

Baby has a small patch of raw skin by his man-hood from the catheter tape from last week. It's already getting better but poor little guy...can you get a break???

I must say I have seen my son go through some crazy scary things in the first 2 weeks (blood draws, IV's, seizures, spinal tap) I think the normal baby vaccinations and skinned knees will be a breeze now, I hope at least!

D is at a golf outing today for our friend Eric who was in a bar fight last year and suffered major head trauma. They have an outing each year to support and celebrate him.

I am headed to the mall with my mom for a few hours to get away. Hopefully we can make it home tomorrow for a few hours.

One plus side in all this...my pumping is going extremely well. For not having a newborn to hold and aid in the production I am getting lots for my little guy, when he's ready. The nurses joke that I will be able to feed the whole nursery! They actually asked me to bring in a cooler next time I am heading home to take a bunch to put in my freezer. They showed me Braydens shelf in the NICU freezer and it's packed! LOL. Some babies have a bin and I have a whole shelf!! One less thing to worry about!

Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself "How did I get through all of that?"

Brayden Update: 2 weeks

D here:

It is unbelievable to me that it has been two weeks already. It seems like time in the NICU is so irrelevant. At some points the days fly by, others a minute feels like a week.

The last few days have been a little uneventful, and we are taking that as a positive. Brayden is slowly improving each day and we are grateful for his progress. Although he still has a lot of hurdles left, it has been amazing/inspiring to see our son fight through everything that he has been put up against.

It has been confirmed that Brayden does have meningitis but a lot of the infection has already been cleared by the antibiotic. They have up'd his dose to try and completely clear out all bacteria from his spinal fluid and will have to do another spinal tap to confirm that it has been.

Brayden is still very heavily sedated, or "snowed" as the nurses like to call it, and will be for the next couple days. It is very hard to see him so medicated, when we compare to how active he was the first week...he just doesn't seem like the same baby. But this is giving his body a much needed rest and letting the doctors/nurses/antibiotics do the work for him.

As a guy/dad/husband, it has been really hard for me to not have control in this situation. Usually if there is a problem, at home, work, or where-ever, I can look for the solution and "fix" it. In this situation, I can't "fix" it for Brayden or provide him with the answer. All I can do is be a constant support for my son and wife, be honest with how I am feeling, and let go of that control.

Each day seems to be its own journey, so we are taking them 1 at a time with him. This has definitely not been easy on us, but we are here for Brayden and will not give up on him.

Thanks again for all of your support, prayers, thoughts, and love.

D.

Brayden Update: 1 week 5 days

Sorry for the late update. It's been a rough few days mentally for us. The NICU is a roller coaster ride and each day/ each hour brings new feelings. It's been a slow process to re-adjust to our new life down here by the hospital. I know we will be here for many more weeks but we are dreaming of the day we get to take our healthy boy home with us.

Brayden is continuing to make small improvements. He had his spinal tap this afternoon and we will have results from the culture tomorrow. The dr said the fluid looked good though, no blood which is a good sign.

He is off his insulin and is regulating his sugar on his own. He is off the blood pressure meds (Dopamine) and is regulating it himself.

He received more blood and platelets this morning and is much pinker, the blood really helps him.

They drew more blood to do another culture to test if there is still infection in the blood. Clinically he is doing much better and we are really enjoying these small improvements.

He is still pretty sedated and will slowly start to come off the anti-seizure meds (which have a sedative effect). Once all these are out of his system he will slowly start to wake up and be more alert.

We are very anxious to start up Kangaroo Care again. Most likely in a week or so depending on how he is doing. I can't wait to hold him again!

****
For me one of the hardest things has been the grieving. I had this idea of pregnancy/ my ideal home birth/ and my perfect little newborn. I have really had to let go of all these dreams and grieve them, which is a normal thing for preemie moms to do. Grieving will help me move on from 'what should have been' and accept this new reality and this new baby that I have. Even though this situation is far from what we expected and our son has many challenges we never thought we'd face we love him so much. Even though we don't get to take him home or hold him whenever we want we cherish the time that we get to spend with him and the care we get to help with while here in the NICU. This journey (emotionally) has just begun and we are taking each new challenge as it comes.

We are very scared for what the future brings, his delays and disabilities may be more than the norm and we are OK with that. He is our son and even though he may not be 'normal' we will still love him the same. He really is such a gift to us and we have already learned so much from our little guy in his 12 days on earth. The things we used to worry about or stress about are gone and I have a whole new appreciation for the little things. Just holding my son for an hour, something that most moms take for granted, is such a gift.

Brayden Update: 1 week 3 days

Brayden is doing about the same today. Still stable and resting. The second blood culture is still negative, good news!

He is slowing waking a little from all the sedatives/ pain meds. He will still be on them for a while but is moving more and opening his eyes.

They will do the EEG tomorrow and the spinal tap to confirm Meningitis.

Fundraiser:

A blogger, Tahnie, reached out to me and wanted to do a fundraiser through her online jewelry store, Stella and Dot, for Brayden.

She will donate 30% of all purchases made for Brayden until Sept 21st.

If you would like to help out please follow these instructions:

Go to the Stella & Dot website here, http://stelladot.com/tahnie.

Next, in the upper right hand corner, underneath StyleWatch, there is a link that says 'Can't make it to the trunk show? Find your hostess' click on that. You will then put in Baby Brayden for the hostess information. Baby for the first name and Brayden for the last, click search. It will say the party starts on September 6.

Go ahead and click on Baby Brayden, click continue and shop away!

Brayden Update: 1 week 2 days

Little B is slowly getting better. He is stable and all his numbers are stabilizing.

They found out that the sepsis (infection of the blood) strain is Ecoli. Most likely he was born with it in his system. He is being given a specific antibiotic to treat this now. The Infectious Diseases Dr is working with him to kill the bacteria. He is being assumed as having meningitis but is not stable enough to confirm via spinal tap. The meningitis is most likely what was causing the seizures. It basically just irritates the brain enough to cause seizures.

The seizures have been under control for about 24 hours with medication. He will have a neurologist do an EEG (detailed scan of the brain) today to determine if he is still having silent ones.

He is on sedatives to help his body and brain rest whole he heals.

Derek and I decided to head home for a while today to rest/ regroup/ and spend some time with Bella. I may even sneak in a much needed pedicure. The Dr's and nurses said now that he is more stable it is basically a sit and wait kind of thing. He has another blood culture growing to see how the infection is doing. The first culture showed up in 14 hours and it's been over 17 for this round and nothing has grown yet. No news is good news with these.

He is certainly a fighter!! We really appreciate the outpouring of support in this time.

Brayden Update: 1 week 1 day

Yesterday, after I did my blog post, Derek and I headed back to the hospital to see Brayden and it just seemed like bad news after bad news. It was another 5 steps back.

Brayden was doing SO well the first 6 days, the nurses and Dr's were so impressed with his improvements. Then yesterday it was like BAM everything happened at once!

I will break it down as much as possible. It's really hard to blog about this because our baby is very sick but I want our family, friends, readers to know what's going on.

Infection:
He has a serious infection that hit him yesterday. Most likely he was born with it. The type of infection stran it is typically sits and then all at once hits them. They will have his blood culture back by tomorrow to pin point the exact stran but for now he is being given antibiotic to treat all possible ones. He is getting blood transfusions and platelets to help him fight this.

Meningitis:
He most likey has meningitis (an infection of the membrane surrounding the brain or spinal cord). They are going to do a spinal tap today or tomorrow depending on how well he is to confirm or not confirm this. He is showing signs of having it though. He is very twitchy which is causing them to suspect it. This is treated with antibiotic that he is already on so they are being proactive about it. A side effect of meningitis can be possible hearing loss.
*Both my (late) great grand parents had this as babies and were both deaf. A lot of my mom's side of the family speaks sign language so I grew up around it and learned a little so I could talk to my great g-ma before she past 6 years ago. This is not as scary to me because I grew up around it.

Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH):
At 7 days of life they do a brain scan on preemies to determine if they have any intraventricular hemorrhages, bleeds in the brain, which are common from the trauma of birth and being so small. They go from grade 1-4 on there scale. The Dr's were very surprised, as were we by the results. He has a grade 3 on the right side and a grade 4 on the left side. Majority of the time this can cause developmental delays later on and in extreme cases can result in Cerebral Palsy. The Dr's have seen level 4's be perfectly healthy developmentally normal kids so only time would tell.

Seizures:
Brayden started to have seizures yesterday, most likely from the bleed in his brain. They are slowly trying to pin point the cause. He is on medicine to help with seizures and so far it's not working very fast.

It was very hard to get all this news at once yesterday. Derek and I both had a meltdown and left for awhile. After some rest we decided it was best go and sit with Brayden. It is very hard to see him so sick, especially watching the seizures/ twitching but we need to be strong for him. The Dr's are confident his little body can fight all this, it's just going to be a long road with hopefully more ups than downs.

He needs prayers more than ever now, so do we. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts.

These are from earlier this week during Kangaroo Care.

Our Babymoon

With all the whirlwind stuff going on I wanted to post about the time Derek and I did get in Michigan for our babymoon, though it was only one day.

Derek and I drove up Thursday morning (8-26). We stopped downtown Chicago and ate lunch at one of our fave spots we used to eat at when we lived down there. Then we made the 3 hour drive to Grand Haven MI, our little beach town destination.

We arrived in the afternoon and decided to eat dinner and do some shopping. We had a yummy dinner, D had the most amazing lobster mac n cheese, yum! We stopped for gelato and did a little shopping. Got Brayden a really cute sock monkey. We headed back to our beach side hotel to watch the sunset over the lake.

We spent about an hour on the patio and it was really special.

Little did I know this whole day I was actually in labor. Scary to think back on now, I had no clue! I woke up the next morning with bleeding and our babies birth day began.

Love this shot of D.

Most amazing mac n cheese EVER!

Last shot of me pregnant. I delivered about 24 hours later.

Beautiful sunset!

Brayden Update: 1 week old

Today is one of those 1 step forward, 2 steps back days. Maybe 3 steps back. The first few days a preemie is in the NICU is referred to as the 'honeymoon phase' where the baby does awesome and then the normal preemie signs/issues can start to develop.

Last night B was showing signs of a mild infection and his Bradycardia (drop in heart rate)/ apnea spells were getting worse so they decided to intubate him and put him on the machine. This will allow his body to rest so he is not working as hard. He is not on extra oxygen the machine is just helping him out. They started a mild antibiotic to be proactive while we wait for the blood results for the infection. When babies are intubated they give them a mild pain medicine to help relax and comfort them.

This morning he got an x-ray of his belly to make sure he didn't have a tear in his intestine, a side effect of the IB-profin for the heart valve, and he did not. They will continue to x-ray and monitor this.

He is going to start a blood transfusion today because his blood levels are low, an indication of a possible infection. Luckily the signs he is showing, being active, show a very mild infection if any. Babies do well with antibiotic so this is good news.

On the plus side he looks more comfortable and rested with the tube in. It gives his little body a break to rest and heal.

We are well prepared for the up and down days we know are ahead of us. We were just saying last night before we went to bed how awesome a day he had and today is a bit on the down side. I know and trust the NICU team here are doing there best for B so he is in good hands all the time.

Derek and I are going to head home for awhile tomorrow (if B is looking OK) to spend some time with Bella and get some things in order. We also have a session with our life coach/ therapist, much needed this week.

Happy 1 week birthday little buddy!

Brayden Update: 6 days old

Derek (aka D and now aka Dad) Here:

Brayden continues to do well, but has new challenges everyday to overcome which is to be expected.

His newest challenge is a PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus) in his heart. This is basically a extra blood vessel that all newborns have in there heart that will usually close on its own within 72 hours. In premature babies this vessel can stay open and make them have to work harder to distribute oxygenated blood to the body. He will be given medicine, basically IB-profin, for the next few days and be re-evaluated next week. If the medicine does not help he will need to have surgery to clamp the vessel closed.

Other than the PDA, he continues to have little events of Apnea and Bradycardia which hopefully closing this vessel will help to diminish those.

Proud Father:
I am definitely a proud father. My little buddy has been such a big boy already. He has taken being poked, prodded, and moved around so well. He has such strength for being so little, especially when he holds my finger with his big hands. I could sit and watch him take every breath for hours, even though it feels like seconds. He is so handsome (just like his daddy) and I think he will definitely be a lady killer. I am looking forward to the day he comes home, but I know he still has a ways to go and we will be here to support him the whole way through.

Proud Husband:
I am amazed at how physically and emotionally strong my wife is. She was so calm when she was told she was having a baby (12 weeks early) and throughout the labor process. Her ability to take it all in stride and process the last 6 days has been amazing. I love the way she looks at our son with a confidence and trust that he is going to come out of this like a the champ he is. I cannot give her enough accolades for how she has been handling this. She is such a strong women!

For me, this whole experience has been a roller coaster. From being scared, to excited, to happy, to scared again on a daily basis. We have been trying to take each day as it comes and know that every day will bring something new. I feel like we have had a crash course in preemies, but still are learning new things all the time.

I'd really like to thank all of our family, friends, and co-workers for the support, calls, emails, texts, and prayers. It has been great to hear from all of you and know that you are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I'd also like to give a special thanks to the Heather's readers, it has been amazing to read your comments and emails of support. This blog has been a great outlet for Heather to journal hers, ours, and now Braydens experiences.

Thank You all so much,

D.

Brayden peeking at mom during Kangaroo Care. He's our wrinkly old man but someday soon will be a fat baby :-)

Brayden Update: 5 days old

I can't believe it's been 5 days already. Physically I feel really good from the birth/ labor. I think my body kicked into super heal mode to be able to be there for Brayden.

Brayden is doing well today. He is having more apnea/bradycardia spells so they increased his dose of caffeine to help with these. These are normal in preemies but it's hard to watch him drop his heart rate on the monitor. If he continues to have more and more then he will go back on the intubator. I am really hoping he won't need the machine.

He has lost almost 10% of his birth weight, which is normal. He, like full term babies, drop the excess fluid before they gain again. He is receiving electrolytes, lipids (fat), and breast milk through a feeding tube. I just hope he gets fat soon :-)

We have been reading a preemie book and talking lots with the nurses which has helped us adjust to our new world. The machines are less scary every day and we are feeling more comfortable in the this new foreign world known as the NICU. It really is 2 steps forward and 1 step back but progress is progress.

Last night we got to start Kangaroo Care. The hospital really promotes this skin to skin contact to help babies thrive. Research has shown that this type of holding is extremely helpful for the babies, and mom too! It helps them grow and be stable faster. The only thing I can say is it was amazing. It's hard to have this new baby that you can't hold, squeeze, cuddle all the time so the time we had last night was so special to me and the whole time Brayden was so calm and his vitals were so steady. My body heat kept him warm and he just slept on me for 45 minutes. I can't wait to do it again.

Kangaroo time with my little man.

Little eyes poking through.

A little view from B's world!

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
– Anonymous

Happy 20 Years!

Today is my parents 20 year anniversary. Last week they flew to Europe to celebrate and after two days their trip was cut short with the arrival of little Brayden. They flew home to be with us and our new son. We really appreciate them coming to be with us and I hope one day they can return for an amazing trip.