B is having surgery in one week and the anticipation is killing me. With all the patience motherhood has taught me I still have a ways to go.
Choosing to do the feeding tube has come with a mix of emotions. Yesterday B ate really bad and it was a struggle and I thought 'why did we wait so long to do this'. This morning I changed B and looked at his bare tummy and I got sad that it would no longer be bare, that he would have a little button from now on. Last week B ate so bad and in my anger I thought 'maybe we can just go to the ER and get this tube today'. So like I said...it's been mixed emotions.
I know this is the right decision and I have no doubt in that. I am scared for surgery and anesthesia. I am scared for B to be in pain and how to manage that correctly, because as a parent it's our call in the hospital to give pain meds. I am scared for B to go through weeks of healing and me go through weeks of learning and change. Part of me wants to fast forward to 6 weeks post surgery when he will be healed and we can get the Mic-Key button.
I am learning lots of things about what life will be like post surgery. Besides feeding be much smoother there is lots of things we as parents need to do. My blog 'friend' Nicole has a kiddo very similar to Brayden and he just had a G tube placed on Monday(I have a feature on her son coming soon). She sent me an email to let me know how it went and give some insider insight. I must say it was invaluable to have that. I learned that you have to turn the tube site 360* daily to make sure it heals properly. Post surgery for the first few weeks before the Mic-Key button is placed you have about 9" of tubing so onesies are a must. Like I've said before I will learn quick and 6 weeks will pass before I know it but change is always scary and I hate the unknown.
I will be updating my blog pre and post surgery so check back for updates.