This happens from time to time and sometimes it's easy to get lost in the why me? Why did I have a special needs child?
Life is not perfect and sometimes we get a less than favorable hand and it's how we play it that matters. Being a victim is a choice and I choose not to be.
The grieving process has been just that for me, a process. Letting go of the child I had expected and fully excepting B for who he is, which is incredible. That doesn't mean I don't get sad now and then, like when I saw the little boy. I have learned that grieving is something I will do forever, it's not a one and done type deal, although that would be so much easier.
I could easily choose to feel sorry for myself or ask myself why me for the rest of my life. But I choose joy. I choose to be positive. I choose to embrace B and all things special needs. I choose to put him out there and not hide him away because he is different. I choose to accept him. I also choose to acknowledge when I'm sad or having a low day and use it to move through the grief. The bottom is hard but the top is amazing.
Some people may look at my life and also think poor her, her poor kid, their life must be so hard. And yes it's hard but I look at B and think....lucky me! He's taught me more than any other person or lesson I've learned. I am a better person since his birth, I'm so grateful for it all, the lowest low and the highest high.
This was beautifully said by Kelle at Enjoying the Small Things...
"You can not control the things that happen in your life, but you can certainly control the way you spend your life."
I choose to be happy and see the joy!
13 comments:
Thank You....I needed to read that today!!! I absolutely love reading your blog.....and your positiveness continues to inspire me. I am a very positive person and everything that comes with having a special needs child....many people question as to how I can be so happy or how I can do it all....but this is what God has chose for me and I am going to appreciate and be grateful for everything he has given me!!! Love B's smile in all of his pictures, he is just to darn cute!!!
Well said! What's ironic? I woke up this morning checking fb. One of my girl friends with an 8 month old was talking about how huge this month has been for him, moving, communicating, and chewing harder foods. I wanted to tell her to shut up. Yes, it's neat seeing your child grow ( I did the same thing with my first child) but boy did it hurt to read that today, for some reason. I couldn't agree with you more! I'm wondering if you'll guest blog for me. You up for it?
You are an amazing mommy with an amazing little boy. Thank you for sharing both your highs and lows! You being real on your blog is what keeps me reading.
I hope your highs always outweigh your lows!
You are an amazing mom. I often think about if we hadn't lost Lauren and what our lives would be like with a special needs child. I could have done it. I would have done it. You're amazing. And B is the strongest little boy out there. xoxox
You are such an amazing mom, B is so lucky to have you!!
I love this post, momma and I love your heart! beautiful!
You are such an amazing person Heather. I was reading your blog long before B and it's true...you are a different person...but in the best way possible. You are so patient and positive and such an INCREDIBLE mother to your little man. I am lucky to know you, friend :-)
You are amazing!! Thanks for this awesome reminder/lesson!
You know how much you inspire and amaze me. So glad you continue to choose to be positive and have joy. We will all be here for you if you have a tough day though. I love that you said you keep putting B out there. I think this is wonderful too. Your story has touched so many lives!
I love your attitude and B is a beautiful little boy perfect just the way God made him!! :) I am sure it is a challenge for you at times but you are doing it with such class girl! Kudos to you for being such a great mamma!!
what a great post. You are absolutely right in letting yourself go through the grieving process. It's ok to grieve the life you planned in your head with your son while being happy and grateful with the blessings you've been given. Such a beautiful thing.
Love this post. You are an amazing Mom and woman!
I get this.
Not to the same degree, but I do get it. Liv isn't typical. She's almost 3 and doesn't walk or talk, and her prognosis/diagnosis is unknown.
She's not the kid I expected to have. But she's the kid who wormed into my heart, softened up all the ugly spots, and makes me smile every day.
But yeah. Some days? It hurts.
Post a Comment